The Newspaper Says 'It will happen again'

Just to clarify, I'm not inciting people to riot again this summer, but what with the government's own report saying it's gonna happen again, I'd like to raise the following points:

Were the riots to happen again, I'd like to suggest a few ground rules.

1. Only steal shit that's worth stealing, you really don't want to end up prison for having taken a bottle of water.
2. Let's really try to leave small businesses alone. Go nuts in the Vodafone shop if your must but stay out the newsagents.
3. No running people over, and no mugging.
4. Leave the fire brigade alone.
5. And finally, obviously if we do see events like last summer again then it will end up being reported on in a lot of other countries. So let's show off the best of British fashion this time, and not just be in a tracksuit. Make more of an effort kids.